Welcome to "Diary of a Leader" - Real Stories, Leadership Lessons, and Personal Growth
Ah, leadership! The thrilling, heart-racing journey of ups, downs, and all the delightful chaos in between.
Welcome to "Diary of a Leader," where I peel back the curtain on the good, the bad, and the downright awkward moments of being a leader.
And today, I’m serving up a leadership lesson that’s been on my mind lately—are you choosing to be a victim or a volunteer?
This idea came to me from a podcast I recently listened to, and it really stuck with me. It ties into the classic question: Are you being dragged through your leadership journey, or are you driving it? As leaders, we all face moments where it feels like things are happening to us.
But the real question is, are we letting it happen, or are we actively choosing to lead?
Victim or Volunteer: The Accountability Check
Let’s dive in.
If you’re finding yourself frustrated because a team member isn’t completing their work and you’re convinced they have an accountability issue—pause and ask yourself: Am I seeing myself as a victim or a volunteer in this situation?
The truth is, as a leader, you hired this person. You assigned them the task, signed off on their role description, and decided they were the right fit based on their skills. So, is the accountability issue happening to you, or are you volunteering to address it?
It’s easy to feel like these problems are beyond your control. But real leadership means recognizing when you need to step up and own the situation, instead of feeling like you’re being dragged through it.
My Own Experience: From Victim to Volunteer
Let me share a personal story.
I once found myself in a position where my growth at a company felt limited because of someone else’s pathway. I knew about this individual’s long-term career plan, but I didn’t think it would impact me. When their path unfolded, I felt stuck. My initial reaction? I fell into the victim mindset—feeling frustrated, like my growth had been taken away.
Now, while in this instance I chose to volunteer and take control, I’ll admit that I’ve gotten caught in the victim cycle many times before. There have been moments where I’ve let circumstances drag me, feeling powerless to change the outcome.
But this time was different. I felt like I was being dragged by circumstances beyond my control. But then, I realized something important: I am the leader of my own career. Instead of staying in that victim mindset, I chose to volunteer to take control. I shifted my focus, made the necessary changes, and took charge of my future.
That decision to drive my own growth, rather than wait for someone else to make room for it, transformed everything.
How I Turned It Around (And You Can Too)
When I recognized I had slipped into a victim mindset, I knew something had to change. Rather than feeling like things were happening to me, I chose to take control and lead my own actions.
Here are a few shifts that helped me—and that can help you step up as a leader too:
Take Responsibility for Your Role
As leaders, it’s easy to point fingers when things go wrong. But real leadership means taking ownership. Whether it's your team’s performance or your own decisions, recognize that you have the power to influence the outcome.
Shift Your Perspective
Challenges aren’t obstacles that happen to you—they’re opportunities for growth. This shift in mindset will help you move from feeling stuck to being proactive and solution-oriented, putting you back in control.
Regular Self-Reflection
Leadership requires constant self-awareness. Take time to reflect on your actions, decisions, and mindset. This helps you stay aligned with your values and continually improve how you lead your team.
What This Means for You (Yes, You!)
So, let me ask you: Are you a victim or a volunteer?
When things don’t go as planned, it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like everything is happening to you. But as a leader, it’s crucial to recognize when it’s time to take responsibility and volunteer to lead—especially when it’s uncomfortable.
Whether you’re dealing with a team member’s accountability, facing a tough decision, or navigating your own career path—you are in the driver’s seat. You can either complain and feel dragged along, or you can take action and lead with intention.
So, here’s my challenge for you:
Next time you’re feeling stuck or frustrated, ask yourself: Am I a victim in this situation, or am I volunteering to take control? That simple mindset shift can change everything.
Wrapping Up (Because Time is Precious)
Here’s the takeaway: You can’t always control what happens, but you can always control how you respond. As leaders, we need to stop seeing ourselves as victims and start volunteering to take charge of our teams, our situations, and our own growth.
Catch you next time, fellow leaders-in-training—and remember, whether you’re being dragged or driven is entirely up to you.
Stay tuned for more reflections and lessons from the trenches of leadership in the next installment of
"Diary of a Leader"
Additional Resources
Here are some great resources that support leading yourself first in leadership:
Articles on Leadership and Mindset:
Podcasts on Leadership and Mindset:
How To Deal With Victim Mentality - The Mindset Mentor
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