Diary of a Leader: Mastering the Art of Leadership Feedback
- Lindsay Sheldrake
- Dec 14, 2024
- 5 min read
Updated: Apr 4
Welcome to "Diary of a Leader" - Real Stories, Leadership Lessons, and Personal Growth
Ah, leadership! The thrilling, heart-racing journey of ups, downs, and all the delightful chaos in between.
Welcome to "Diary of a Leader," where I peel back the curtain on the good, the bad, and the downright awkward moments of being a leader.
And Today, I’m Serving Up a Leadership Lesson About Feedback
Let’s talk about feedback—because as much as it’s a cornerstone of great leadership, it’s often a subject we dread.
Feedback can feel heavy. You’ve probably heard the dreaded phrase, “I have some feedback for you,” and immediately braced yourself. It’s uncomfortable, sometimes overly personal, and often leaves you wondering what to actually do with it.
But feedback doesn’t have to be awkward or draining. When done well, it becomes an incredible tool for growth, connection, and progress. And it’s not just about those big, formal feedback moments. Great leaders integrate feedback consistently and seamlessly into their conversations.
That’s where the B I D model comes in—a simple, effective framework that takes the guesswork out of giving feedback and turns it into something meaningful.
The Feedback Challenge: Why We Avoid It
If we’re being honest, feedback is something many leaders tiptoe around. Maybe we fear hurting someone’s feelings, or we worry the conversation won’t go as planned.
But here’s the truth: avoiding feedback creates a gap that grows over time. Without guidance, people don’t know where they stand. They miss opportunities to grow, the team’s progress stalls, and a sense of disconnection creeps in.
Feedback isn’t just about pointing out what’s wrong—it’s about showing someone their potential and helping them bridge the gap between where they are and where they could be.
The B I D Model: A Simple Framework for Giving Feedback
The B I D model keeps feedback concise, actionable, and neutral. It shifts the conversation from being personal to being productive. Here’s how it works:
B is for Behavior - Start by focusing on what you’ve observed. Be specific, neutral, and avoid storytelling. For example:
“I’m curious. Something I’ve noticed is that during presentations, you often move through the slides quickly, and it could be hard for the audience to follow.”
I is for Impact - Explain the ripple effect of their behavior. Highlight what they may not realize about how it affects others. For example:
“The impact of that is that some team members might feel confused or disconnected from the message, which could lead to missed alignment on key points.”
D is for Do - End with a question, request or action that encourages collaboration and growth. Instead of a directive, invite them into the solution. For example:
“Tell me more about how you could modify this behavior going forward in a way that feels natural but keeps the team aligned. What might make this easier for you?”
This approach makes the conversation feel less like an order and more like an opportunity for the person to take ownership of their growth.
An Example of Constructive Feedback Using B I D
Let’s look at a constructive feedback example for a course-correcting situation.
B - Behavior:
“I’m curious. Something I’ve noticed is that during team meetings, you tend to dominate the conversation, which may leave less space for others to share their thoughts.”
I - Impact:
“The impact of that is that some team members may feel hesitant to contribute, which could lead to us missing out on valuable perspectives.”
D - Do:
“How might we work together to create more space for others to share during meetings? For example, would setting a goal to ask two open-ended questions during discussions help balance the dialogue?”
This "How might we" approach turns the feedback into a collaborative moment, making the individual feel supported while also highlighting areas for improvement.
My Own Journey with Feedback
I’ll admit it: I haven’t always been great at giving feedback. Early in my leadership days, I avoided tough conversations, thinking it was easier to let things slide. But I quickly learned that avoiding feedback is like ignoring a leaky faucet—it only gets worse over time.
One of my biggest wake-up calls came when I realized how important positive feedback is for high performers. These are the people who are often overlooked in feedback conversations because they’re “already doing great.” But guess what? The number one reason high performers leave organizations is a lack of positive feedback.
That insight pushed me to start using the B I D model for both positive and course-correcting feedback. The results? People started feeling seen, valued, and supported—and their performance reflected it.
Why Feedback is a Leadership Superpower
Here’s what I’ve learned about the power of feedback:
It Builds Trust - Thoughtful, consistent feedback shows your team you’re invested in their success. It strengthens relationships and fosters a culture of transparency.
It Drives Growth - Feedback isn’t just about fixing mistakes—it’s about showing people what’s possible and helping them reach it.
It Strengthens Team Dynamics - When feedback becomes a norm, communication improves, misunderstandings decrease, and the team functions more effectively as a whole.
How to Start Giving Feedback That Matters
If feedback feels daunting, here’s how to start:
1. Set Time Aside
Don’t give feedback on the fly. Schedule a specific time and give the person a heads-up.
2. Prepare in Advance
Write down what you want to say using the B I D model. Keep it brief and neutral.
3. Practice with Positive Feedback
Start by highlighting what someone is doing well. For example:
“I noticed how you led that brainstorming session last week (B). It really energized the team, and they came up with some great ideas (I). I think it’d be awesome if you kept bringing that same energy into future sessions (D).”
4. Make It a Two-Way Street
Feedback isn’t just something you give—it’s something you receive. Invite your team to share feedback with you and show them how to accept it with grace.
Wrapping Up (Because Time is Precious)
Here’s the big takeaway: Feedback isn’t about criticism—it’s about connection. It’s the bridge between potential and progress.
When we avoid feedback, we miss opportunities to help our teams thrive. But when we embrace it—consistently and intentionally—we create a culture of growth, trust, and continuous improvement.
So, the next time you’re faced with a feedback conversation, don’t shy away. Use the B I D model, stay curious, and focus on helping the person in front of you see what’s possible.
Catch you next time, fellow leaders-in-training—and remember, great leaders don’t just give feedback. They use it to inspire and empower.
Stay tuned for more reflections and lessons from the trenches of leadership in the next installment of
"Diary of a Leader"
Comments