Welcome to "Diary of a Leader" - Real Stories, Leadership Lessons, and Personal Growth
Ah, leadership! The thrilling, heart-racing journey of ups, downs, and all the delightful chaos in between.
Welcome to "Diary of a Leader," where I peel back the curtain on the good, the bad, and the downright awkward moments of being a leader.
And today, I’m serving up a lesson that took me way too long to learn:
THE ART OF LISTENING - (Yes, it’s an art—who knew?)
The Wake-Up Call (a.k.a. My "Oops" Moment)
Picture this: It’s a regular workday. I’m buried in tasks, juggling a million things, when a stressed-out team member walks into my office. They start talking, venting really, but before they get far, I jump in with my “brilliant” solution.
“Boom!” I thought. "Problem solved. Now back to my list."
Wrong.
The look on their face? Pure disappointment. They didn’t want me to fix things—they wanted me to listen. And I? I was too busy being “efficient” to notice. They walked out frustrated, and I was left wondering why things felt off. (Spoiler: It was me. I was the problem.)
The Lesson Learned (Yes, I Finally Got There)
Once I stopped jumping in, something unexpected happened. My relationships with my team got stronger. People started opening up more, and I started noticing things I’d missed before. It was like unlocking a secret key to better connections. Listening led to trust.
It’s amazing how much you can learn when you stop planning your next sentence. I realized listening wasn’t just a skill—it was a bridge. One that brought me closer to my team in ways I hadn’t expected. It was much more effective than offering a quick fix.
Why This Is So Important
Here’s the thing: As leaders, we sometimes feel like we need to have all the answers. But the truth is, leadership isn’t about being the encyclopedia of solutions—it’s about understanding the people you lead. And that starts with (you guessed it) listening.
In fact, active listening is one of the most underutilized tools in leadership. It's not just hearing the words but also picking up on the emotions and underlying concerns. This shift transforms your leadership style from reactive to empathetic, which fosters a healthier workplace culture.
How Active Listening Transforms Leadership
Let’s break down what happens when you commit to becoming a better listener:
1. You Create a Safe Space for Open Communication
When team members know they’re heard without immediate judgment or solutions, they’re more likely to share honestly. This transparency allows you to get to the heart of issues faster, and in turn, build stronger team morale.
2. You Become a Better Problem Solver
Ironically, when you stop trying to immediately fix everything, you actually solve problems more effectively. By allowing people to fully express their thoughts, you often uncover deeper issues or patterns you wouldn’t have noticed otherwise. Sometimes, the best solution is one you can’t see until you’ve truly listened.
3. You Build Trust and Rapport
Listening isn’t just about fixing—it’s about showing you care. Your team is more likely to trust you and feel valued when they see that their thoughts and feelings matter to you. And with trust comes greater loyalty, engagement, and productivity.
Practical Tips for Becoming a Better Listener
You might be thinking, "Okay, I get it. But how do I actually improve my listening skills?" Here are a few simple strategies you can put into practice right away:
1. Stop Multitasking (still working on this!)
It’s tempting to respond to emails or check your phone while someone’s talking, but this splits your attention. Commit to being fully present, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Put distractions aside and focus entirely on the person in front of you.
2. Reflect Before Responding
Before you jump in with a response, take a moment to process what was said. Ask clarifying questions like, “Can you explain more about that?” or “How did that make you feel?” This shows the speaker that you’re truly engaged.
3. Watch for Nonverbal Cues (exiting the conversation is a massive cue!!!)
Listening isn’t just about what you hear; it’s also about what you see. Pay attention to body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. These cues can provide deeper insight into what someone is really trying to communicate.
4. Validate Their Experience
Sometimes, people just need to feel heard. Instead of immediately offering solutions, say things like, “That sounds frustrating” or “I can see why you’d feel that way.” This small act of validation can make someone feel understood, even if you don’t have all the answers.
Wrapping Up (Because Time is Precious)
So, what’s the takeaway?
So, here’s my advice: Next time someone comes to you with an issue, hold back on trying to solve it immediately. Just sit, listen, and let them finish. You’d be surprised at how much clearer things get when you give people the space to speak.
Listening isn’t just a nice skill to have—it’s a game changer in leadership. It takes practice, and yeah, it can be tough to hold back when you’re used to solving problems. But trust me, it’s worth it. Not only will it make others feel heard, but it also helps create a team that’s more open and connected.
In a world where everything moves fast, being the leader who stops to listen isn’t just rare—it’s invaluable. So, let’s all commit to listening more and talking less. A small shift that makes a huge difference.
Thanks for joining me on this little leadership adventure. I hope this lesson hits home for you like it did for me.
Catch you next time, fellow leaders-in-training!
Stay tuned for more reflections and lessons from the trenches of leadership in the next installment of
"Diary of a Leader "
Additional Resources
Here are some great resources that support active listening in leadership:
Books on Leadership and Listening:
"The Go-Giver Leader" by Bob Burg & John David Mann
"Speed of Trust" by Stephen Covey (Behavior#11: Listen First)
"Leading with Questions" by Michael J. Marquardt
Podcasts on Active Listening:
Leaders Listen with Simon Sinek - Leadership Podcast
The Art of Active Listening - Harvard Business Review on YouTube
Articles on Leadership and Active Listening:
Leadership & Character Assessment Tools:
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